If your bored enough......

and want to know what you missed read on.

Q:Where can you get unbelievably messy,meet most of Britain's overlooked psychiatric referrals, have a whole meal inside a Yorkshire pudding and be part of a 'British cultural treasure' which everyone who didn't go pretends is rubbish.

A:Glastonbury (and as I'm having a Friday night to forget, i may as well write a little bit about what i experienced in my seven days there)

As i lack both the patience and motivation to write paragraphs or anything decent ill divide it into high points and low points kinda like a gcse history lesson.




Low points(ill get these out the way first so by the end you'll have forgotten what a whiny adolescent blog this clearly is)

1.Spending the whole of Tuesday hungover in inescapable sun, the result being 'two face effect sunburn' from lying on my side.(note to self, in future don't try and out drink girls who aren't actually drinking.bitch.)

2. Seeing Neil Young/Brand new possibly the two most boring, pretentious sets I've ever watched, both performed by men old enough to know better(i realise I'm gonna catch some shit for that statement, i mean Neil young did write a boring anti war album after all right?). I actually like Brand new but the fact they played at 1pm and didn't play anything of deja entendu made it boring for me, maybe i was just in a bad mood.

3.Fornicating with a girl possibly a little too young for me, ehrrrm.


4. Our 11pm to 7am shift for oxfam, i have to admit that whilst walking half naked through country lanes in torrential rain at 7am i began to have my doubts. These were sorted by the prospect of a free ticket.

5.The rain

6.Ed, the forty something pyschopath who came and sat round our fire one night, he was extremely annoying,very possibly a sex offender and camped alone next to us- needless to say we all slept with an eye on the tent doorway.

7. Pissing up peoples legs much to the annoyance of the crowd during prodigy, i had to go and if people had stood still and not panicked i would have had it gushing harmlessly into the mud.


8. The fact everything in the oxfam camp was vegan/vegetarian option, i have no problem with this usually but everything was raannnnk( bannana and falafel,really?).

9. The communal showers in oxfam camp, i saw far too many things and dropping my shower gel was a harrowing moment. Also the fact i forgot to take a towel meant yesterdays tshirt was the alternative needless to say i got dressed wet most mornings.


That's all the negativity i have to spout now for the good'uns

a)Our badass jackets bought 3 for a £2 from some sick sick shop.

b) getting to see most of the festival despite actually being there to work for oxfam.

c)The fact everyone thinks the 'stone circle' (made in 1990) is some ancient sun worshipping spot, which leads to it being the place everyone ends their night/goes to get mashed as the sun comes up.

d) the Yorkshire pudding which contained pees mash and A STEAK AND GUINNESS PIE, if heaven could be derived from a meal i think ive found it.

e) the 'drag strip'- vampire girls tearing each others clothes off whilst suspended from the ceiling, girls in bunny suits dry fucking each other and an amazing ebony bones set. what better way to spend the hours 1-3AM?

f)Everything in trash city/shangrilah

G)... is for Glasvegas amaaaazing.

h) hearing random drivers singing along to Bon Iver as we played it in the long long traffic jams in Salisbury, definately the best acoustic gig I've ever seen.

i)Staying at Nat's sweet house in somerset, it was like something out of the famous five complete with chickens and an attic hide out, i can't thank her and her lovely mother enough.

i could go on but my minds blank for now and I'm kinda at that half awake half asleep phase of the evening, so i really can't be bothered

photos to follow.

peas.