A cast iron treat.

Felix the housecat is the personification of all that's fun and slightly shitty and for that this holds a very dear place in my heart.

For those bmx inclined, who haven't spent most of the dry season not riding their bike this is pretty sick, what i love about Mikey is that he films good times simple as that.

'What Country Are We In?' from Mike King on Vimeo.

Peas

Its been a while, a certain female and my one true love (wray and nephew 65 proof rum) have kept me from rambling on the internet for a while. The time hasn't been completely useless though i discovered a few hidden gems on my travels between bed, weatherpoons and the bathroom sink.



I really don't know how to talk about this album without sounding cliche or like a guardian album review, i want to use words like haunting but that sounds a little pretentious for a blog a couple (if im lucky) of people read, so ill settle for something simple. In a sentence this is a beautiful record.

If your not into the dullset tones of mr Blaine harrison, everyone should see this.
I defy anyone not to find Chunky's attempt at something slighty graceful hilarious, i always find it reassuring when even the ludicrisly talented struggle at something most 5 year old girls can do with ease.

Peas

Eazy Mother Funkin E

Empire Ramp Jam from Empire Bmx on Vimeo.
Mad style,Airs and tech, most of this edit baffled me not least the fact most of the bowl was pure white yet no one seems to misjudge the transition completely, maybe thats just one of my traits.

Peas

No title required.

“For really, what is the bedrock of all male aspiration, if it isn’t cunt and money?”
—Iceberg Slim

I defy any red blooded (read normal heterosexual) male to not be into this, the whole shoot with ID is pretty fucking enchanting actually if I'm honest. I realise the link is pretty gay and smacks of a women's gloss magazine but i have a lot of time on my hands.

Love to your mothers

Cinnamon Chasers - Luv Deluxe from Maurice Paradox on Vimeo.

Too good, apparently this won best music video at SXSW but I'm not an American music critique who wears corduroy trousers and hails from Rhode Island so im not really fussed. This is undeniably amazing though.

Love to your mothers

Pure disgust...

thrasher part from steven jensen on Vimeo.

It may be the purist in me but why? This is horrible, i could only stomach about a minute of it before my perception of the world was shattered.

Love to your mothers.

Does patriotism get any better than this?

Sadly i think the days of New Order world cup anthems are gone, these days the great English public have to be content with Embrace, snow patrol or something else god awful to rouse England's green and pleasant land. All complaints aside i feel the year of my birth (1990) was a testament to a forgotten age of fluro clothing and short shorts, an age i envy enough to wear 80's running shorts to swim in, the white john barnes living in Basingstoke? i think so.

Love to your mothers.

"A sucking chest wound is natures way of telling you you've been in a firefight".

Why am i so captivated by the Vietnam war? i read Michael Herr's dispatches for the 5th time today, either my life gets more boring with each passing year or i get more introspective and obsessed.neither is good.

Oh and above is one of my hero's, war photographer Dana Stone, R.I.P if you are actually dead.

peas

Two fingers up at those who won't miss us when we pass away.

Somehow it eluded me that the rakes split up last autumn, i now feel pretty stupid that i looked for their name on all the festival line-ups for this summer. The best thing about them was their ability to make even the most cack footed awkward kids like me want to dance and throw their limbs about,seeing them at glastonbury 2009 in a glorified 6 man tent was definately one of my highlights of my 19th year.Anyways i digress capture/release (2005) is in my opinion one of the best albums of the decade, so here's a belated r.i.p to the music of a band who had style substance and above all tuuuuneees!

Undoubtedly my favourite song.



Also is this even real? i read somewhere that p diddy has a 50% share in iroc Vodka in return for cringe worthy moments like this:



Marketing calamity of 2010? i think its up their with gocompare.com's operatic cunt.

peas out

A decade late.

I discovered this rare gem, The Math Sheet Demo's (apparently so titled because funnily enough the EP's were wrapped in old maths sheets) by Alexisonfire. Alexisonfire have forever been one of my favourite bands and can pretty much do no wrong in my eyes (with the exception of doing a split with kings of screeching pyshiatric self harm moneen) and this is no different despite the fact two of three songs are on their debut. There is one 'new'/ten year old song on there: The Philosopical Significance Of Shooting My Sister In The Face: An Essay by James Secord which by the way is probably the best name i've heard for a song in maybe, well a decade. As a song though it sounds pretty much like what i imagine most music coming out of blizzard hit canada sounded like in 2001 but thats not necessarily a bad thing. If anything i'd recommend listening to it to remind yourself how much better they've got and the fact they've been around for a decade. It made me think of sitting in a friends smoke hazed garage trying to think of 18 year olds to buy us a 3 litre bottle of strongbow and professing my undying love for all things metal.

Peas

Two things worth the time of day, or night...

It is 2am after all.

Whilst I've got nothing against the army and I'll be the last person to march down Westminster with my unwashed body and doc martens i thought this was pretty spot on.

And this, well a combination of M83, sunshine in every frame and long exposure city scape's just made me long for a tranquil summer riding,barbecuing and swimming in muddy English rivers like the romanticised summers of old.

Will Stroud Cinematography Reel from Will Stroud on Vimeo.

Peas

East coast rap is gay?

Going to what i expect to be one of the most hilarious gigs of my life tomorrow at Brixton 02, i've never really been all that into hair metal (with the exception of motely crue who are Deity's in my eyes), but i defy anyone not to find steel panther a least a little bit funny.

Oh and I'm spending this weekend in Amsterdam getting slightly, no, royally wasted. Plus i think we're going to some sex museums and breweries which is cool with me, and the best thing is its all in the name of education, BA Journalism in fact.
God bless sheffield uni

peas

Wolf Wars

http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2010/03/wolf-wars/moyer-photography

This is beyond sick, i think i may have been a wolf in a past life.

peas

Fatty's and eye patches.

3 things to hate:

1.Kings of Leon- sex on fire, the average car journey/ 10 minute browsing of radio stations usually yields this horror at least 3 times.

2.The journey, the same basic rule applies to this as above if you swap car journey for nightclub and pretty much every student house party I've ever been too.

3. 90% of people who like these songs and their connotations.


3 things worthy of love:

1. French rider Alex Valentino's clothing line, its named after a Rick James song has a rad team and actually looks good(which is fairly rare in the nike 6.0 age.) Its a bit more fashion orientated than your average bmx clothes but hey something fresh is a nice change.

2. The new Courteeners album 'Falcon', I've often heard this band compared to Oasis but i think that's a pretty defeatist comparison given that any band from the northwest gets this tacked onto them at some point, and I've yet to see anyone who is anything like as influential as Messrs Gallagher were in their glory days of the nineties. Nonetheless this is probably the best album ive heard so far in 2010, which probably says a fair amount given we're three months deep.

3.Addidas Samba's: these shoes are cool as fuck and i've always wanted a pair, since i saw some northern kid do an amazing invert in them when i was about 15. Im opting for blue suede which can never be anything other than classic. mint.

actually make that 4

4. Submarine by Joe Dunthorpe- Possibly the most amusing, mood altering book i've ever read.

peas out

Black hole's, unraised moles.

I haven't had much worthwhile to write about of late, but i went on an adventure of sorts to falmouth the weekend gone. The adventure itself consisted of closed A-roads, reggae and proof that 'my boy lennon' lives and is biding his time in cheap falmouth coctail bars until the death of Paul Mcartney and Ringo Starr.

Head bypassing witticisms aside the real reason we went was to see Los campesionos! in a venue representing your average village hall/under 18's youth disco. Despite spending most of the gig pondering whether 16 is really old enough when your fast approaching 20 years old, i managed to gauge that they were pretty sick and that the keyboard/vocals woman was a solid 7 out of 10.

Upon second reading what i've just written looks like some kind of carling fueled misogyny, which in a way it is.enjoy.

peas

A tour guide of sorts.

While I'm fully aware I've done something very similar to this before, this years stint of adolescent debauchery at Estonia's premier bmx/Skate competition has given me fresh food for some kind of "10 reasons tourist guide" so here it goes:


1. The language: Any country which has phrases such as "Kaks teist Kuud" (pronounced cocks taste good) or "Kaks teist Pussy" to say something as simple as twelve months or twelve buses has at least one good thing going for it. Couple this with the fact that hot Estonian girls will happily repeat this to you with very little idea of whats funny or slightly arousing and your onto some guaranteed cross language comedy in any bar. see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgEKyD6v89Y.


2. Onto a marginally more mature reason why you should visit, the average Estonian woman is on average 1,000 times hotter than her average British equivalent. Apply the statistic that only 1 in 10 Estonian girls is ugly compared to the reverse ratio in Britain and you get the picture. Add to this the fact that for some reason Drunken English boys (particularly bmxers and skaters) are considered highly desirable and trustworthy enough to follow back to a hostel and a lay isn't too far away.


3. Its proximity to Latvia: Latvian people are possibly the most amazing race of people on the face of the earth, whilst managing to be slightly irritating at the same time. Why i here you ask? well while English are incontestably the greatest binge drinkers on earth this tends to be a weekend 'flash in the pan' thing, Latvians on the other hand are down to party whether its 10am on a cold Monday morning or 2am on a Friday night.


4. Lax policing : A couple of years ago an unnamed friend spent a night in Tallinn city jail for a jacket related crime, 200 backhanded kroones later and he was back out on the streets partying, whether this relaxed attitude to justice is a good thing for Estonia i don't know but it certainly is to drunken English boys who have a knack for getting into some kind of trouble wherever they go.


5.Road safety: Estonia is the only place I've ever been where its not only acceptable but encouraged for taxi drivers to 'drift' round corners in the center of a city, mount footpaths and pack 10 people into a 7 seater car, enough said.



6.Estonian boys seem to be invisible/overcome with some degenerative disease: I say this because literally every bar, club or supermarket i visited seemed to be 90% female, which means lots of vajay jay for foreign boys and girls.


7.The measures: An Estonian 'double' consists of three quarters of a pint of spirit with a dusting of mixer, if that's not a recipe for success my idea of success is seriously misconstrued.




8. In a vain attempt to seem at all cultured i should probably say something like 'Estonia has a rich and vastly enthralling history due to years of occupation by the USSR but I'd rather you went to see the whacked out art gallery which looks like a crack den/prison and has 6ft plastic heads outside.


9.The fact everything is guilt generatingly cheap, I'm not sure why this is but 5 nights in a hostel which looked something like a London townhouse for about £36.00 is amazing as is 20 cigarettes for £1.20 or a litre of blueberry cider for £1.50, i could go on.


10. Simpel session: this is pretty much the sole reason I've visited a country which has winter temperatures of anything from -5 to -30 degrees for the past two years straight. To be frank even if you don't skate or bmx if you can find any fault in partying with some of the most beautiful women Europe has to offer in one of its cheapest countries then i doubt you can be happy anywhere other than Skegness or somewhere equally picturesque.



Peas out

oh and most of the photos are by fellow Estonian convert Ross penny find some more delightful snapshots here.

Its that wonderful time of year again...

When i travel under the guise of attending simpel session to a land of beautiful women, cheap alcohol and wonderful snowscapes, where i hear you ask? Estonia

unlikely i know, but it seems on last years experience I'll have the last laugh, preferable laying in bed with a leggy blond Estonian and a tumbler of the eastern bloc's finest vodka.

adios to any updates for a while

peas.

The killer blow to bmx jihad

“ Being a BMXer, unironically. BMXers are better than skateboarders at fucking and that’s a fact. And not just because most skateboarders are twelve"- Vice magazine (some article about what girls dig or something)

In that case my life should be far more interesting and/or promiscuous than it currently is, i can't hep but feel something went wrong somewhere along the line?

It might be because I'm lanky as the proverbial 'streak of piss' or because i tend to drink a little more than is usually endearing to the opposite sex or it could just be because i look more like a skater/'faggot' indie kid than a bmxer these days (but hey i hate day glow Nike 6.0's and new era hats so what can i do?). Equally i could just have overrated my looks, funny how i thought of that last.

Maybe i should go for something with more mystique to wow the galdems, like pauper/student lothario or brilliant but enigmatic artist?

peas

The kind of place winter afternoon dreams are made of ..

a newkie brown, a swimming pool and a blonde with plunging cleavage what more could you ask from a Saturday afternoon?

Repeat after me.... i am free.

I wish bmx films were this good.

with the exception of this of course, it made me want to go for a pedal in some exotic country, or just a good city with primary colours blasting in my ears, something like my idea of bliss.

Oh and the above made me wish i was one of the following

a) the wolf

b)the photographer

c)at a party where she was present so i could at least try and get my limited English charm on the go, but fuck it she's probably French or Anglo-Belarusian anyways, she wouldn't get it.

peas